Building Communities/Friendships in Japan that Last

Often times I hear about the intense anxiety that potential immigrants or freshly landed residents have regarding making friends, especially if you’re starting from scratch. I was the same, knowing absolutely no one upon arrival except for the office staff at my university. This type of anxiety can force you to cling to people that you would never actually hang out with in real life, filling you with a sense of scarcity just to mend the loneliness that many of us have when moving to a new country for the first time. The question is: How do you build a community that lasts?

First, let’s begin with making initial contact with people in Japan.

Black Women in Japan (BWIJ)

You’ll be somewhat relieved to find out that there are thousands in long-established Facebook groups such as BWIJ. You can find anything on this community channel, from hairstylist resources, new job opportunities, community meetups, or simply women who want to vent about their long day. Follow the community rules of course, but you can always post if you are lonely and looking for a friend to go out to coffee with. Meeting with one person opens you up to a whole new world. Don’t feel too dejected when you don’t click with someone right away.

Local Events

If alcohol is not your thing, feel free to skip to the next paragraph. If you live in Japan, trust that there is ALWAYS something going on! Check out the local bars, restaurants, and clubs. Social Media is your friend, especially on Instagram. There will always be a promo poster begging for people to spend money at their venue, offering discounts for foreigners most times. If you ever go out solo, you’ll usually end up with a new friend/acquaintance. If you’re a lesbian, there is a lesbian bar in Kyoto (the last one left, unfortunately), called Bar Look Me.

If you’re in Tokyo or its surrounding area, you can always check out Tokyo Weekender for events! It’s my absolute favorite Lifestyle mag. They post a monthly article with events/pop ups happening in Tokyo.

MeetUp

MeetUp is an app/website that allows hosts to add events on their site. You can type in the city you reside in, and there are usually language exchange events happening in the surrounding areas. There are also different events that can cater to your hobbies!

Bumble BFF

Dating apps are a terrible way to make connections in 2025 I fear, but Bumble BFF does hold a little space in my heart for allowing me to meet people with no romantic/sexual intentions. If you’re in a major city, you can definitely find people who live in your city and speak your language, as well as people just passing through. There’s nothing wrong with making long-distance friends either!

Building Community

Something I find beautiful about Japan is that when you’re already a marginalized person, finding a commonality with another immigrant can build an unbreakable bond. When you join these groups, meetups, and events, it allows you to connect with people from all across the world. You don’t have to stick with people who make you feel small just because you’re lonely, you can continue to make friendships with people who are looking to create their own families.

For myself, my close friendships in Japan are my family. From meeting some friends at bars or online for the first time, I found myself confiding in these women like sisters. We have sleepovers, family dinners, and help each other when we are in dire need. We feed each other, clean for one another, protect each other and all costs, and lift each other up. This is why having that awkward first meeting is important. To survive in a place like Japan, you need people.